Deputy Mayor auditions for position of New Year Grinch

The Metropolitan Police Authority is in session and Deputy Mayor Kit Malthouse AM DCiC* and Putative Deputy MOPC** (pronounced “Mopsy”) is in the Chair.

As usual the meeting began with the grandly-titled Chairman’s Update – a list of items of good news and congratulations with a description of the last few weeks in the life of Kit Malthouse.

Normally, the Putative Deputy MOPC reads his report in a monotone with his head down – the contents already having been circulated.

This meeting paragraph 5 – with slightly strange grammar – recorded:

“thanks goes (go?  and to whom?) for the smooth policing of the New Year’s Eve celebrations in London and fireworks on the Thames, which involved the deployment of 3,200 officers and 68 police staff.”

However, there was a deviation from the circulated text and the celebrations were described as:

“increasingly burdensome”.

So is this a bid to tell Mayor Boris Johnson that at the end of this year there should be no more “panem et circenses” (“bread and circuses”, Juvenal cAD100)?

Apparently, the Putative Deputy MOPC wants to enter the 2012 London Elections as the “Grinch Who Stole New Year“.

*Dog Catcher in Chief

**Mayor’s Office of Policing and Crime

3 thoughts on “Deputy Mayor auditions for position of New Year Grinch”

  1. What will happen about the 2 million innocent people whose DNA is on file? It is to be ruled Illegal (again post Marper) soon. Compo will be HUGE.

  2. We shall miss these Deputy Mayors when they have all gone: I wonder what the Latin for “Clowns and Drollery” is?

    @Broxted The compo may be nett of the crimes which would have been committed by the extra people caught. Presumably those whose DNA is held are not automatically immune to violent crime, and recidivists wouldn’t leave them out of their criminal intentions.

    How much should the judiciary charge the compo greedy for a foregone murder?

  3. Cannot help you with the Latin but can with the DNA. The 2 million on file exponentially is a massive number (familial matches). The peak has long past, there are very few “cold cases” left. Most offences are committed by a small number of criminals. Do you think Mr M who was arrested for non payment of a bus fare is equal to Vincent Tabak? (Who, is of course guilty cos The Sun says so).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *