Mr Grumpy at the Metropolitan Police Authority

The Metropolitan Police Authority is in session and Deputy Mayor Kit Malthouse AM DCiC* and Putative Deputy MOPC** (pronounced “Mopsy”) is in the Chair and he’s not in a good mood.

Baroness Dee Doocey AM raised a point on the minutes seeking an assurance that all members would be involved in decisions about the wind up of the MPA and the creation of the MOPC.  The Putative Deputy MOPC invited members to let him have views and then added – with an incipient snarl redolent with heavy irony – “I look forward to being inundated with floods of emails from you all”.

Regular reports on this are going to the MPA’s Business Management Group (regarded by some as a sinister structure but consisting of the Chairs of MPA Committees with the Chair of the Authority) with updates to the Strategic and Operational Policing Committee.

“Could all members attend the BMG?”

“Minutes are circulated.”

“No they aren’t.”

“Yes, they were.”

“No, not true.”

“They are available on the MPA intranet.”

“London Assembly members can’t/don’t access the intranet.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Can we be emailed the minutes?”

“We will print them out and send them to you.”

“That’s a waste of money – email is fine.”

“I’ve been there before – you claim not to have seen the emails.”

Very much Mr Grumpy.

Then Jenny Jones AM started to ask about the Chair of the MPA’s meetings: “Can we be told what press barons you’ve met?”

“Nice try.”

“Can we see a list of your meetings?”

“Happy to append a list of my policing and crime-related meetings to the minutes.”

John Biggs MP wanted to know whether this would include his City Hall meetings as well.

“If you list all your meetings as well.”

And then:

“This is kiddy stuff.”

Even more Mr Grumpy.

*Dog Catcher in Chief

**Mayor’s Office of Policing and Crime

2 thoughts on “Mr Grumpy at the Metropolitan Police Authority”

  1. Very low grade as are the Mister Men stories.

    I’m sure Red Ken and Labour’s band should inspire references to “Where the Wild Things Are” and “Mr Gumpy’s motor car” etc.

    Will Malthouse and Bojo become forgetful fat cats? Is Bojo really “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”?

    If so will his transmogrification be to the Dame’s role in Cameron’s swansong?

    Do tell, Unca Tobes?

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